The "Real" Story

A little over a week ago I spent two days traveling in the Midwest, meeting sales people and doing training for Squak Mountain Stone. Training not only involves discussing the technical merits of the material, but also requires exposing myself, emotionally, by talking about how my product came to be.

Squak Mountain Stone is a heartfelt, dedicated endeavor and came about because of my own personal conviction to try to start a different kind of business and to make a different kind of material. And I started it the only way I knew how: in my garage. Over time, as the narrative of my company's creation has been written, I've heard "You have an amazing story!" And it never feels right to me. Perhaps because, in reality, I'm not the author. Only a character. It just happened this way. I wish I could say I am a genius and it's all been in my master plan. But I can't. I'm just not that smart.

But maybe it's because in between the pages of the story that I tell to the public, where I show pictures of my garage and my friends and family helping me out, and I pass around the dirty, lumpy samples of the first batches I made, there are many moments of frustration, anger, sadness, and loneliness. There are many days in my story where I worked alone in my shop (nearly 2 years as a matter of fact) and just wanted to have another person to talk to during the day. There are nights arguing over finances with my dear husband because I quit my consulting practice to pursue this dream. And there is the brutal, bloody reality of dealing with the trials and tribulations of a new product in an existing, well-entrenched market. And I don't think I need to mention balancing this with my two little kids, do I? To me, my story feels less "amazing" and more "exhausting."

Now, over the last several years I have met people who are more than willing to wear the Superman cape and walk around like they are "God's Gift to Green." These are the kind of people that when you tell them "You have an amazing story" they respond with "Of course." Or, if you haven't told them they're amazing, they'll be sure to point out your neglect. But that cape doesn't fit me very well. And it's because I'm certain there are other people out there who are more deserving of it than me. I make countertops. I haven't cured cancer.

So why am I talking about this today? Because after spending two days in the Midwest, having my ego stroked a little, today I was humbled. Humbled by the fact that I struggled today, like everyone else usually does, with paying bills (some late), maintaining peace at my shop with my employees and deciding how we will manage through these hard financial times. And at home tonight, I will make dinner for my family because no matter how "amazing" other people think I am, I'm still the family cook and it's likely one person in my family will not like what I'm cooking tonight (which is potato soup and sandwiches, by the way, and it's my son who is unhappy.)

And none of this is "amazing" or even unique. It's just real. And tomorrow, like most of you, I will get up in the morning and do it all over again. I often say "It's not the day I wanted but it's the day I got. So, I'll try to make the most of it." I think I did my best today with what I got.

When I tell my story, I tell the truth. I don't embellish on the details. I just leave a few of the painful ones out. And I appreciate, truly, the support I get from the customers and even "fans" of my product. But I guess I just wanted to confess a little today that I'm feeling a little less magical and a little more human and I'd bet most of you know how I feel. So, let's wake up tomorrow and all try to do something amazing.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and
precious life?”

-From “The Summer Day” by poet Mary Oliver

Know thyself...

For over one week, I have struggled to write my next blog posting. However, I have had no problem talking. Apparently I am eloquent when I speak about my passions and ideas about business, social entrepreneurship and everything else that gets me excited.

Writing about it is another matter. I think my brain acts quickly, the words flow well in my head and straight out my mouth. When I try to recapture all of it & write it down, I'm stifled and at a loss for words.

But now I've had an idea: I am going to create a video blog instead of a written blog. Which is why I've changed blog hosts.

The next challenge: Not talking too much. This all might be harder than I thought.

But today, I will leave everyone with something written beautifully, just not by me. This is Friedrich Engles, philosopher, author and friend of Karl Marx. The following is quite simply the inspiration I needed to choose to do what I do today. Enjoy.

“…the ultimate courses of all social changes and political revolutions are to be sought, not in the minds of men, in their increasing insight into eternal truth and justice, but in the changes in the mode of production and exchange; they are to be sought not in the philosophy but in the economics of the epoch concerned.”